It is January after all. Shouldn’t we have resolutions? Or should we talk about the fact that this is just an arbitrary date and Jan 1 is no better or worse a day to make resolutions.

Actually – all of the above is still a reason to have resolutions. Just that we shouldn’t wait until Jan 1 to make them and we should think about them longer than the first few weeks of the year.

The discussion came up at a birthday party a week ago. Some had the usual healthy living/working out resolutions. Some had the good intention to be in the Word more regularly. I am working on those habits, but haven’t actually named them resolutions. Not sure I can explain the difference. I would say something like they are more time-management and priority issues or even that they are more self-centered. But that might imply that spending time in the Word is not as all-encompassing and pervasive as it is.

But. what are my resolutions.

1. I want to be a better friend. I brought this up at the birthday dinner and a few laughed at me, because I am a very good friend to them. But I struggle with other friendships. I don’t make phone calls easily. I have a strong sense of the impropriety of being nosy and interfering with other people. I also let my self-image convince me that I am not someone people would really want to spend time with and that means I require (constant) affirmation that I am wanted. But I take all of that too far and easily let people alone so much they don’t realize I’m their friend (because I’m not, I’m just an acquaintance). I don’t want to invade the lives of everyone I know, but I want to select a few people I think I could be a friend to, where we have things in common, where some overture has been made by them. I want to make quantity and quality time a priority, so that we can become friends and know we can turn to each other.

This also translates to family.

2. To not be offended so easily. This one probably sound strange at first. It is the result of a lot of things. First this quote I found in Not Knowing Where by Oswald Chambers

“We have the perfect right not to insist on our rights, for it is the privilege of a Christian to waive his rights; but we do not always recognize that we must insist on those associated with us getting their rights.”

Also watching friends and people I know and love getting offended and walking away from relationships. Some of that comes from the reading of Unpacking Forgiveness by Chris Brauns. I don’t want to go so far as therapeutic forgiveness, whire I refuse to ever hold on to anything. But so much of what offends me is just a complaint that I didn’t get my way or that I was not appreciated. That’s why I wrote out this quote:

Pride is any way of putting self into central focus. If I complain about myself I am still prideful.

In the chapter that he talks about deciding when to let something go, rather than express a need for repentance before reconciliation can occur, I studied and studied to see what he was saying. He says we must start by examining self and look to see if we’re sure we are right. Not just that I am right, but that my way is the only right way and the other person couldn’t possibly be right too. Then ask how important this is. This is dependent on the person, obviously. I’ve seen people get offended by something I didn’t think was very important at all. Then see if the person displays a pattern of this behavior. Not do they routinely go against me getting my way or hurting my pride, but are they sinning consistently.

Since I was a child, I would easily get my feelings hurt. I had a disagreement during my EMBA because the leadership teacher tried to tell me that it isn’t my responsibility if someone else gets their feelings hurt. I know what she was trying to say. Using a condescending tone of voice and a mean choice of words is intentionally looking to hurt someone. But telling the truth or explaining a situation shouldn’t be avoided because the other person might get their feelings hurt. In the past year I’ve decided I agree with her more than I realized. A number of times I’ve wanted to tell people to grow up. And that is what my hope is with this resolution, that I will grow up some more.

At first I worded it to not be offended so much, but I changed it to easily. If I were to change how I live my life, it could be that I would become someone who would draw a particular kind of offense more.

3. To count it all joy. I think I have a big-issue faith. I trust God with the big issues, don’t let the magnitude of the problem overwhelm me, and trust him. But in the small and day-to-day type stuff I don’t always keep the faith. Some quotes from Believing God by RC Sproul, Jr come to mind.

“Whether it is a great burden or a small irritant, our frustration betrays that our hearts don’t remember what our minds know.” p. 99

This is what I wrote last year as I read this book. “I should wake up every morning with the sole desire to be made more like Jesus.  I should count it all joy. I should rest easy at night knowing that the Sovereign God has brought me closer to Him through whatever happened that day.”

We don’t believe that we are at peace with Him. We tend to believe our struggles show either that God doesn’t love us or that God is powerless to help us.

“When we fear, when we grumble, when we complain, we show forth what is in our hearts. We expose our sin.” p. 111

This was another conclusion I came to: “complaining about the situation I’m in is the same as complaining about the person who brought about the situation”. I don’t want to complain. That doesn’t mean it will all be sweet and light, as the world defines good. But it does mean I can stop letting my temper get the best of me, getting frustrated because I don’t get my way immediately. Wow, I sound like a spoiled toddler when I put it that way.

To accomplish this I believe I must be in the Word (there’s where that one comes in) and in prayer and even in study. But I must also apply – I should prepare verses and things to say when I’m on the verge – to remind myself Who I belong to and how I should act.

In past years, my resolution has been to fix my tone of voice, especially when I’m frustrated. But, if I work on resolution #3, the tone of voice should be fixed.

We had a great Christmas dinner last Saturday. The weather did NOT cooperate and the sleet and snow kept some from attending. It also wreaked havoc with the turkey plans. But all the other food and many other guests made it and we had a good time.

My mother says I was a good hostess and made everyone feel very comfortable. That was good to hear because a few of the brothers-in-law might have gotten a curt word or two from me, maybe Mom just didn’t hear it. I loved having my aunts and nephews here. My Aunt Anne brought over a very nice gentleman friend who was great company.

Anthony saved the turkey – it was going to be fried, but I think we thawed it out a day too early. Then weather prevented the fryer from coming, so we were going to bake it. Then the oven went out and what with all the various temperature changes it had been through we were starting to doubt if we wanted to eat it. Anthony took out the breast meat and grilled it – a success!

Tomorrow we travel to Hickory to spend time with the nephews and their family. Then Saturday we travel to Raleigh for time with Anthony’s brother and family. That means 5 of us in the truck for 3 hours there and 3 hours back. (If you are the praying kind, keep all of us in mind

Tonight, we’re off to church service, including an O Holy Night solo. Then to our friends’ house for some merriment.

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Merry Christmas to all of you!

This is a fun time of year! There are so many reasons and opportunities to get together with people. Here’s a review of my week. (I also have to cover the pager at work this week so every event has been fraught with tension as I wondered if I’d have to abandon the event to rush home and work).

Saturday a week ago started with the rehearsal for the children’s Christmas show. I run the sound system. Saturday the sound system was not being nice to me. The afternoon ended up free and beautiful, instead of the snow storm being predicted. That gave me time to make snowball cookies for Monday night

Sunday was church and then an extra long choir rehearsal as we went through the adult Christmas performance. Someone else has to run the sound system for that!

Monday night was the Circle meeting with women from church. This was our Christmas dinner so it was all fun fellowship.

Tuesday I had plans but I ended up rebelling and staying home.

Wednesday was the children’s Christmas performance so I was there early to help set up and do the rehearsal. The performance went really well and the sound system behaved!

Thursday was open so we watched Terminator Salvation. I liked the movie. I wasn’t a huge fan of Christian Bale’s John Connor, but the characters of Kyle Reese and Marcus Wright were great!

Friday was dinner with friends. This was long overdue, we just don’t spend enough time with this couple. We had a great time and did a lot of talking. It was very late (or very early, depending on your perspective) when we finally came home.

Today I’m making more snowball cookies and we have a party with friends tonight. We won’t be staying quite as late because the adult Christmas performance is tomorrow night. Maybe Anthony can party several days in a row and stay out late with no consequences, but I can’t do it

Tomorrow will be busy. Church in the morning. A meeting and choir rehearsal in the afternoon. Then the choir performance tomorrow night.

A coworker is generously covering the pager tomorrow night so I don’t have to worry about it during the Cantata. Then Monday someone else takes over the pager. Of course, I don’t really have much planned next week.

One week from today we’ll have around 16 people here for Christmas! With my mom and aunt coming early to do all the cooking. I am so excited!

I love my new Maple Leaf theme, so I’ll be back to it soon. But I switched to the Beach Holiday theme for the next week in recognition of our very cool vacation in Hawaii. I might even get in a blog entry or two from the lanai (cooler than just an old deck or porch) of the condo we’re staying in.

On the home front I am happy to report that the PMS is going away. I’m not a danger to nearby irritants now.

I have had to wash sheets multiple times this week as Ray has decided to pee on every bed, more than once. It has been such a joy to have those added todos this week while I had so much spare time between working and getting ready for the trip. There’s nothing like a week long vacation hanging over the head to bring some things into sharp relief. We are looking to have Ray out of the house before the end of the day and he won’t be coming back.

Out today because we aren’t going to leave this fun for our nice house and cat-sitter. And not coming back because it’s been 2 months and he’s persistent in this peeing – I’ve found it in a few other places over the past 3 weeks. A friend thinks he may be destined to be an outside cat which is fine, but we aren’t in a position to have an outside cat and we did tell the shelter we’d keep him as an inside cat so they need to be in on the issues.

Enough about that – the good news on the pet front is that my very good friend is getting a new Great Dane!!! We love our big dogs, or we love our dogs big. Anyway – I love when she has a big dog because I get to go over there and play with and love on them. Chandler will be a nice addition, even if I don’t get to meet him until after my vacation.

That’s it for now – off to finish my day of work and get packed. Aloha!

As someone commented on SparkPeople – Life is what happens while we’re making plans.

Early in May we both signed up for the MSBike even in October. His plan was to ride 100 miles on Saturday and another 40 or 50 on Sunday. I figured I would try 40 on Saturday and see what I felt like on Sunday.

We got out for a ride in early June and it went pretty well. If we had kept to a real training schedule we would be in great shape for the MS ride. But training takes time and we kept running out of that.

I was still on track to do 40 miles on Saturday and then see if I did 35 or 20 on Sunday. After our last ride where DH called for a pick up at 50 miles I convinced him not to do the 100 miles for the MS Ride. He talked about the 80 mile but then was considering the 40 mile with me.

This week was very rushed but this morning between meetings and other stuff I did manage to lay out our clothes, bike clothes, shoes, helmets, towels, sleeping bags, etc… so we could pack this afternoon.

Work has been hectic all week with a review coming next week, but I thought we would be in good shape by today. Then they started pulling in last minute stuff that has to be done before Monday morning. Next thing I know I’m on the phone until 7:30 pm with more planned for Saturday morning.

I finally took a few minutes to talk to DH about the options and we decided it just made more sense for him to go on down to Greenville tonight and be ready for the bike ride tomorrow. I will stay here and do my work.

I’m kind of sad that I won’t be doing the ride after preparing for it and telling so many people about it. But it also solves some problems with other things that had to be covered this weekend. Now I can do those things and have some time to myself. For example – we needed to mow the yard, because we need to mow again this coming Thurs or Fri before traveling for 9 days. We have a friend staying the house, but she won’t be mowing our yard. Plus, my nephew called to chat for about 30 minutes Friday and I wouldn’t have been here for that. And the substitute to run the sound system at church is ill and shouldn’t be worrying about the sound system this weekend.

As my new favorite quote says “What should have happened did” so no regrets, just noticing how the best laid plans don’t always work out.

On the up side, I haven’t been for a run in a week and I was able to get out Saturday morning and enjoy being back on the road.

I promised photos but we got busy and it took all week to finish the project. He finally got out there Wednesday morning (9 days after we started) and finished cutting the pieces to fit in the holes. It looks very nice.

Half the photos are on his iPhone so I don’t have them yet, but these give you a good idea of the progress. The main thing I don’t have a picture of is the boys smiling (not!) while carrying the pavers to the back patio.

One thing we didn’t get was a picture of the area before we started. But I believe he has a picture of it before we removed all the grass.

Then the pavers on the patio.

First day’s progress – we dug the trench for the foundation of the wall, cleared all the grass and leveled the area for the sand and pavers, got the wall put in and started putting down sand and pavers.

Then we had to get the dirt moved so it wouldn’t kill the grass in the yard. A friend had a place for us to dump it so it got shoveled into the truck and then out of the truck. We’re tired of moving dirt.

A few days later he finished laying all the pavers with holes where he needed to cut some to size/shape.

Of course we had curious cats watching most of this every time we were outside.

Finally – help from a circular saw with a diamond blade and he had it all done.

No more scraggly bushes, straw, or trimming around the area. We like it!

A three day weekend is a great thing. And given that all my weekends seem to be booked lately, this was no exception.

I got up Saturday and drove off to the business park to run in my 6K. I did pretty well, coming in at about 41 minutes. Then I came home to find the rest of the folks in the house just getting up.

I doled out some assignments which resulted in nephew #2 mowing the yard while hubby edged and trimmed. Nephew #1 worked hard at … eating breakfast.

Then, I headed off to a baby shower at the Duke Mansion. Hubby took both nephews to Home Depot and had them help load some paver stones into the truck. Then, he dropped them off at a friends which means he had to unload the truck alone (not good planning) and drive some friends down to the hospital for visitation.

I got back from the shower and DH got back from the hospital in time to go to our friends’ for dinner. Yummy food and great company. Home in time for showers and bed.

Sunday started with church. Then lunch, change clothes, grocery shopping, and back over to my friend’s house to whip up a dish for the cul-de-sac party that night. DH spent most of the afternoon at the hospital again. Off to choir practice and prayer meeting, then back to eat the dregs left from the cul-de-sac party. Home in time for showers and bed.

Monday – need to catch up on laundry – the boys didn’t bring that many changes of clothes and with the mowing, etc, they’ve gone through most of it. While the boys were sleeping in, DH and I ran to Lowe’s to get sand and paver stones – seems we’re serious about the little yard project. Since the stones from Saturday are in my spot in the garage, we better get this done fast – I am paying a lot for that garage and I want my car in it!

He and I and a very nice assistant at Lowe’s got lots of paver stones loaded into the truck. Then we came home and started preparing the ground around the a/c units. The boys finally got up (after much prodding) so we assigned them the duty of emptying the stones out of the truck. That was a joyful task!

Then I ran off for more tools and lunch. Somehow after lunch the boys disappeared so DH and I kept working. I finally had to quit, make sure the boys had packed and cleaned their room, showered (finally), put the 3rd load in to wash, and drove the 1.5 hours to get the boys home. Hung around for a birthday party that was really burnt hamburgers and a very cool birthday cake. Then drove back home to find DH had made phenomenal progress while I was gone. We’re over 1/2 way there with this little project. Good thing we only do one of these every few years.

I’ll post pictures (before, during, and after) in another day or two. Today, I’ve finished 2 more loads of laundry, put clean sheets on the bed for Mom who comes home tonight, and soon I need to work through this stack of receipts on my desk.

Things seem to be going pretty well with the new cat. He came with the name Oliver, which I liked. But Anthony really liked Blu-Ray so he and BlueTooth would be the Blues Brothers. So, he is now Ray.

Once we decided to call him Ray, he proceeded to pee in a box under my desk and then yesterday he peed on our bed. I’m thinking he may prefer Oliver

Some thoughts on why he peed on our bed. Marking his territory? Perhaps, but really the bed is ours and he’s allowed to spend time there, he needs to learn that. Jealous because we abandoned him to watch a movie? Doubtful, he spent the whole time curled up with one of us. Mad because we wouldn’t let him jump on the table and eat some of that delightful salmon fresh from the grill? I’m thinking this is it. He stomped off toward the bedroom to pout and I think he took revenge.

Of course, we didn’t discover it until time to sleep, so our evening was disrupted some. He also got Anthony’s pillow so I had snoring, cat pee smell, and BlueTooth making weird meowing noises while Ray stalked him. I finally went up to the guest bedroom to sleep. Then I got up this morning and did 3 loads of laundry. The sheets smell great, we’re still working on the bed.

When he isn’t making wet disturbances, Ray is actually a cute cat and he and BlueTooth are getting along better each day. Both of them were resting on Anthony yesterday afternoon and they aren’t as loathe to be in the same room together now.

BlueTooth tends to stay away, and here’s why. Wherever BT goes, Ray follows. But if BT curls up somewhere and goes to sleep, Ray will leave him alone to go find the action. Therefore, the only way to be alone is to be sleeping, away from us. Hopefully Ray will continue to calm down and let BT have some space once in awhile.

One game they play is entirely accidental. The sun will reflect off of BT’s tag and Ray will chase the light. BT is completely unaware that he’s the reason Ray is suddenly leaping all around the room. It’s pretty funny.

That’s it for now!

Oliver doing yoga

We adopted a second cat Sunday. Cat #1 (BlueTooth) has not said he wanted a friend, but we keep thinking it would be nice if he had a another cat to play with. 

BlueTooth is still wondering what he did to deserve this. And hisses when Oliver proceeds to sniff his rear (I can’t blame BlueTooth, I’d hiss too). But it’s only been two days so we have hope. 

BlueTooth is about 4, and Oliver is about 1. What a difference. Oliver is very curious as he learns the new smells and sights (and harasses BlueTooth). He is also persistent and fast. Putting him down just means he gets to jump right back up. 

He’s also a paper chewer. BlueTooth chews through tiny wires, but that’s not a worry with Oliver. He’d rather chew up a book or papers sitting on the table. He’s also attracted to push pins. 

I’ve been alternating between having fun playing with him and watching him do fun things and then pulling him away from stuff and removing things from his mouth. Then he just chews on me (maybe we should file his teeth . 

So, it was with great trepidation that I rode the bike on the trainer and then did yoga. I kept him away from the bike successfully. Then he turned out to be an even better yoga partner than BlueTooth. BT thinks he should watch my yoga session from the center of my mat (which hampers my form just a tad). Oliver was content to lie down at the head of the mat and didn’t get in my way at all. In fact, he closed his eyes and stayed quite still. I may have found a way to tame the inner wildcat.

Sunday night Anthony slept in the guest bedroom with Oliver and I stayed in our room with BlueTooth. But I didn’t shut BlueTooth up in our room so he kept going to the guest bedroom door and meowing pitifully. No one but Oliver slept well.

Last night I slept in the guest room with Oliver and Anthony and BlueTooth were shut up in our bedroom. Oliver decided to play around 3am and I had to hide my digits because he kept chewing on my fingers. Then he would lick and chew on my ear. I finally got him to stop that, but he just laid down with his belly right up beside my ear and purred nice and loud!

I really hope BlueTooth accepts Oliver soon so they can go play with each other at 3am and leave me to sleep.