The year started out fairly quiet and I got a ton of reading done. It made up for the very small bit of reading I actually did the last part of 2011 (what with the security audit at work and the holidays and stuff).

In January I did get to have lunch and a pedicure with my friend Jill, our Christmas gift to each other. I also had two circle meetings and helped take down the Christmas decorations. I got to visit at Edie’s house and have sushi with Val and dinner with Dot and Larry.  And, very importantly, we mailed off our passport renewal packages!

Two rather big events in January included buying a new washing machine, and having 4 friends from High School (plus little Sterling) come visit. We had a great time catching up and Anthony made lunch for us. It is hard to get us together, but it is wonderful when we pull it off.

February started with a visit to Aunt Elaine and Don (and the arrival of our new passports!). Don was playing with a friend at Monkeez Brew in Thomasville which was fun. Elaine was getting ready for hip surgery so we did some rearranging of furniture to make sure she had room to get around while she recovered. This was the month that my sister-in-law Christine started coming up each Tuesday to visit. She is rehearsing with a band in the neighborhood next to hours, so we get to see just about every week. It’s great keeping up with each other and having time to just chat. We also drove to Columbia, SC, to listen to RC Sproul speak, and then to Gastonia for a Women’s Ministries and Elder/Deacon seminars. Being in Gastonia gave us a chance to visit with Aunt Anne. I have good family. Then Mom dropped by for a fun visit, so I saw all 3 sisters that month.

In March Edie and Chris came for dinner – what fun! I had brunch with 3 classmates from my EMBA a few years ago. Then we drove down to Florida for the Ligonier National Conference and visiting with Aunt Jessie and Uncle George. We also got to visit with Pastor Bob on the way home. (Thanks Mom for house/cat sitting!) After we got back, we had lunch with the Hodge family – as much fun as expected. We ended the month with a (sort of) surprise birthday party for Bill and a trip to Ikea with Aunt Elaine and Don (she’s getting around really well after the hip surgery, ready for the other one now).

April has already been fun and we’re only half way through. All of the Easter events of course. For the first year in awhile Mom didn’t make it down for Easter, but I’m hoping we see her next month. Dot and I worked up a solo for the Sunday after Easter and I got to do some spontaneous sight-reading in a duet with Larry one night – what fun. Anthony finally finished his part of our taxes. We traveled to Bonclarken for a Women’s Ministries meeting and presented to them about using technology, websites, and social media. Then the monthly deacon meeting, and two fun Circle meetings.

Last night I had my regular visit with Christine, then we ate sushi with Val again and got to see her new house. No wonder she was so excited about it, what a wonderful house. I’m heading there again in May to help do some more fixing, moving, and settling. Tonight we were going to go to the Davidson concert, but it turned into a dinner with a friend.

Some weeks it seems we have a lot going on, but I wouldn’t trade any of it. I love the time we are able to spend with family and friends!

Chapter 5 is about God’s control over the nations. This is like taking the previous chapters and taking them to the highest and largest application. Just as He is sovereign over people, He is sovereign over the people in charge of a nation, and the collective actions and decisions and results of those people as the government of a nation, the ruler of the nation, and even the military forces of a nation.

He points out that in the West, we tend to not think that much about our government and God’s sovereignty because we don’t feel the government impacting our lives on a daily basis, unlike countries where persecution is common. However, there is plenty of concern and fear about even our government some days. It is good to remember who is in control.

Yet, here’s the catch. He is talking about the book of Daniel in the Bible, which is heavy on discussion of the nations and God’s sovereignty. He concludes that “Daniel realized that God’s sovereignty and God’s promise were intended to stimulate him to pray.” (p95) This should be our response, not hand wringing or bemoaning, but prayer. Daniel also wasn’t afraid of being involved in the government of his day.

Chapter 6 moves on to God’s sovereignty over nature. He starts by showing God’s control over the weather. He brings the good and the bad weather, the part that nourishes the land, and the disasters that strike.He attacks our habit of complaining about the weather as a sin, complaining against God.

Not only do we sin against God when we complain about the weather, we also deprive ourselves of the peace that comes from recognizing our heavenly Father is in control of it. (p101)

He admits the struggles we have with natural disasters that cause deaths and hardship for so many. While we do not understand all the reasons why God allows or brings disasters, we must not remove them from His control.

The next topic is physical infirmities – handicaps like blindness and physical pain, and diseases like cancer. All of these are also under God’s control. Again, we cannot always know why. They are not always a sign of God’s judgment, but always a way for God to be glorified. We can trust God is in control.

They are focused on Titus 2:3-5.

She starts with delight in loving our husbands. It is something we learn to do, can be trained to do. It doesn’t come naturally. She reminds us that tender behavior includes prizing him, cherishing him, and enjoying him. She challenges us with a statement that women tend to be weaker in displaying affectionate love. We’re great at sacrificial love, but need to learn to be better at affection in our love.

Next is the blessing of loving our children. She knows raising children can be exasperating, but reminds us to find our strength in the Spirit.

Next virtue she mentions is self-control. She’s starting to get personal here. Another reminder that “it is only as we cooperate with the power of the Holy Spirit that we will achieve self-control.” (p65) And a reminder that “self-control is our wall of defense against the enemies of our soul.” (p66)

Then she covers the pleasure of purity. Some advice was to be attractive, be available, and be anticipatory. This was a fun evening of sharing and encouraging.

She talked about the honor of working from home, without making those of us who work outside the home feel guilty. Instead, there is some freedom to know it is a legitimate choice. And she discussed our responsibilities to maintain a home (not just a clean house) for our family.She has some sobering comments on the feminist trends and why we should recognize them and re-evaluate them to see if we truly believe what we think we believe.

Then the rewards of kindness. Another timely serving of conviction for me. This chapter explored hindrances to kindness – such as anger (when our story gets stepped on), bitterness (wallowing in how we have been wronged), and judging. I love how she talks about how we must make loving judgments about our family members. “We should think the best that the nature of the case will allow, placing the best possible construction on their words, actions, and motives.” (p125)

She ends with a chapter on the beauty of submission. The beauty of living a life under the headship of a godly man. Not all have that benefit, and there is discussion of that. But none of us live with a perfect man, and none of them live with perfect women. We can display great inner strength when we let the husband lead. I believe this will look different in different households. It will depend on the strengths of the husband and those of the wife, certainly on the weaknesses of both, the work schedules and family needs at the time. Sure, many of us like to lead and do lead many groups and projects and even manage areas of companies. But we are given a role and obedience to God means submission to our husband, even when it means a lot of hard work.

Submission, in its simplest form, is trust in God, who is completely trustworthy. (p150)

This chapter covers the premise that God is sovereign, all-powerful over all things. He refers to James 4:13-15 to remind us that all that we do is at God’s will.

He permits, for reasons known only to Himself, people to act contrary to and in defiance of His revealed will. But He never permits them to act contrary to His sovereign will. p36

Bridges is explaining that both the malicious and willful malevolent acts of others are under God’s control, and the mistakes and failures of other people. Nothing is too trivial or too big to be beyond His control.

His sovereignty is not always apparent, He directs and guides people and events and things through normal actions. As chapter 4 discusses, He guides the will of a person, yet that person is still acting on their own volition. We aren’t dependent on some miracle to be saved from something. We have probably been saved many times just through choosing one path over another.

Since we know God is directing our lives to an ultimate end and He is capable of doing all that He wills, we can trust Him.

Chapter 4 moves in to more detail about God’s sovereignty over people. He admits there is some mystery here, but he uses several pieces of Scripture to show what we have been told about God’s working in the will of people. He prompts people to act favorably toward His own, and He restrains people from acting maliciously toward His own. And sometimes He permits bad things. He doesn’t cause another to sin, but He uses the sinful act to meet His own plans.

The mystery is that the Bible clearly shows people are making real choices of their own will. God’s ways are infinite and we cannot compare His moving someone’s will to the way we would try to move someone’s will.

Then he talks about how we should respond in light of this – this is where it gets a bit convicting!

Confidence in God’s sovereignty in the lives of people should also keep us from becoming resentful and bitter when we are treated unjustly or maliciously by others.  p72

Bridges then looks at why we get bitter or stressed. It’s because our plans have been dashed or our pride has been wounded (p73). We should have only one agenda – God’s. When we have our own agenda, it will clash with God’s and cause anger and bitterness and stress. This fits right in with Del Tackett’s discussion about my script getting stepped on.

I should do my best, meet my responsibilities, and take my own part very seriously. No slacking just because “God’s sovereign”. But then I can rest in the knowledge that everything else is under God’s control. No frustration, anger, or bitterness. That would be so nice.

He refers to the book When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Rabbi Harold Kushner. Besides the argument that there really are no good people, here Bridges focuses on the decision Rabbi Kushner makes that we must choose between a God who is good but not all-powerful, or one who is all-powerful but not good. This seems the only way to explain why catastrophes happen, why there is so much suffering and pain.

Yet, as Bridges points out, the Bible doesn’t give us that option. The Bible clearly states that God is all-powerful and He is good. This leads to the subject of God’s providence. He points out verses that show God is sovereign over everything, big and small, all the time. God governs all events, directs all actions, and sustains all things. Everything has its being, at every moment, only because of God’s sustaining will.

The point to all of this is that we can trust God. He is good, he is always, every moment, working for our God. And He is all-powerful, so nothing can happen without His doing it or permitting it. The struggle with this, of course, is when really bad things seem to be happening. We seem quite willing to attribute good things to God’s providence. And we use the term often in a way that implies specific, limited acts. But we must find comfort in the truth. And the truth is that He is always governing everything, even the uncomfortable, painful, and tragic times.

We should find confidence in our suffering being under the control of an all-powerful and all-loving God. It has a meaning and purpose in God’s plan.

This brings me back to my statements a few posts ago. Everything that happens at work – every email, text message, meeting, tool hiccup, is all of God.

Yet, I didn’t think I would forget so quickly. Or even worse, rewrite my interpretation and my plan of action so quickly.

Work has not gotten any better. And to hear me talk, you would think it has gotten much much worse since my week of vacation in March. Mostly though, the only thing that has changed is that I get even angrier and more frustrated quicker.

Where is the Trust in all of that?

So what have I been telling myself (and others)? Why, that God must be trying to get my attention and get me to move on. I’ve become complacent and tolerate much more than I should. Oy. I can rationalize just about anything I guess.

Really, I don’t think I’m complacent. When I really stop to think it through, right now I am being financially responsible, and I am being sanctified. And I have a good job in many ways. And I am doing a good job in many ways. Sure, I’m not able to get it all done, we are all trying to do the work of a few people these days. But I get a lot of it done, and much of it is done well. It is really just about my attitude (especially since that is the only thing I can really control). The days that I am patient and calm and understanding are much easier to live with at the end of the day.

I pulled out my copy of Trusting God by Jerry Bridges and intend to work through it again, chapter by chapter. I am also re-reading Spiritual Depression by Lloyd-Jones. Both remind me that not trusting God, not believing His word, is a sin. The other day I was asking what difference it makes. The day to day is just so hard, how does it make any difference to be saved. But I know that it does – and the critical thing I need to remember is that I am not alone. I don’t go through it all alone. I don’t do it in my own strength (although when I try, that’s when it all fails and gets painful).

Maybe I should pull out another book, The Secret of Supernatural Living by Adrian Rogers. To be reminded of the truth I first realized in these pages.

It is so easy to miss what Paul is saying. He does not say to be filled by the Spirit but with the Spirit. We must not get the idea that the Holy Spirit is waiting outside of us to place into us what we need. p50.

It isn’t more of my own patience that I need, but to rely on His patience.

In the first chapter of Trusting God, Bridges compares pursuing holiness with trusting God. He admits that

obeying God is worked out within well-defined boundaries of God’s revealed will. Trusting God is worked out in an arena that has no boundaries. We do not know the extent, the duration, or the frequency of the painful, adverse circumstances in which we must frequently trust God. We are always coping with the unknown. p16.

He follows that with a reminder that “In order to trust God, we must always view our adverse circumstances through the eyes of faith, not of sense.”

Three truths to believe:

• God is completely sovereign
• God is infinite in wisdom
• God is perfect in love

In that same chapter he quotes from Ecclesiastes 7:13

Consider what God has done:

Who can straighten

what he has made crooked?

If God has brought a “crooked” event into my life, only He can straighten it. I must trust God whether he does or not.

It mentions Feria de Abril in Sevilla – definitely an experience with horses and costumes and more.

Fresh markets – it’s where I did most of my shopping when I lived there. Sadly, hitting the farmer’s market isn’t as routine a thing for me here in the US. It mentions that the Boqueria in Barcelona is a great place to browse.

More about getting outdoors. There is a 57,000 acre National Park in the Pyrenees with waterfalls, caves, forests, meadows, etc… They mention hiking, El Camino (The Way), and another national park down in Andalusia.

Apparently the government-run hotels called paradors are unique and consistently receive rave reviews.

And of course the beach. Right after I got to Spain, the family I was staying with went to the beach and took me along. It was the first rocky beach I had ever been to.

Museums include the Prado in Madrid, the Picasso in Barcelona, a Miro museum in Barcelona, the Guggenheim in Bilboa, and a few others. The Museum of National Art of Catalonia has frescoes saved from the walls of abandoned chapels in the Pyrenees. They don’t mention anything about the Salvador Dali museum in Figueres.

Getting into travel advice – in Barcelona it’s better to walk or take the subway than a cab.

Food in Barcelona: instead of champagne order Cava, a sparkling wine from the Penedes region.  (Noting this for Anthony, as neither champagne or Cava appeals to me.) Crema Catalana (Catalan cream) for dessert – a custard dusted with cinnamon and confectioners sugar and burned with a blowtorch. (a la creme brulee)

Next up – Fun in Barcelona with kids. (Which is a great way to avoid the bars and overload of museums.)

At the Ligonier National Conference this year, he spoke on the meta narrative – the big story/purpose. He started with a quote from a post modernist that scoffed at the idea of a bigger story that can give an encompassing explanation, saying it is just a tool to legitimize some version of the truth. (And most post modernists scoff at the idea of absolute truth.)

Then Del Tackett asked, as Christians, do we believe that there is a meta narrative, and that it is a good one, even when it brings hardship, pain, suffering, and rejection.

He then read Isaiah 47:9-11, Jeremiah 29:11, and Phil 2:13 which state clearly there is a plan and purpose of God, and that it is for our good. Do we believe that?

He showed how Jesus showed that truth is absolute, universal, unchanging, exclusive, non-contradictory, and the ultimate reality. There is a danger when a worldview loses touch with reality and is based on what we want to be true.

Jesus also showed that truth is objective and knowable. And truth is consequential. Ignoring or rejecting truth has consequences.

He ended with some consequences of losing sight of the meta narrative. It leads to the death or relationships. If everyone is only interested in their own story, then we know that every other person is only looking to us to see how we can enhance their own script. There is no sacrifice.

That leads to isolation, alienation, rejection of authority, and loneliness. This results in anger. We get angry when someone steps on my script, someone does something that goes away from my version of how my life should go. He pointed to Elijah, Moses, David, and others who got angry when their script wasn’t played out just right.

This leads to hatred and bitterness, which can lead to depression and despondency.

The final question is – are you going to base your Christian walk on how you feel or on what you believe is really true?

He showed how in the Garden of Gesthemane, Christ went to God 3 times, probably as an example to us that we must continually give up our script.

Not my will, but Thine

Not my story, but Your story

Not my script, but Your script

For me this fits right in, of course, with the words from Trusting God by Bridges. Everyone who comes into my life (good or bad), everything that happens to me, is permitted and providentially and sovereignly brought about by God.

At work – this means every email, every text message, every meeting, every phone call, every todo.

All of it is of God – how will I react?

Too often I get angry or overwhelmed.

Another great place to see this play out is in my marriage. When something doesn’t go exactly my way – when Anthony steps on my script, how do I react?

My short list of reactions that I wrote yesterday:

Pray for God’s provision – 2 Cor 9:8

Express gratitude that God loves me so immediately and dearly – 1 Thess 5:16-18

For gentleness in my response – Col 4:6

Plea for patience and peace and equipping to resist pressure and anxiety – Phil 4:19, 2 Tim 1:7

God is faithful!

He does a great job of explaining scripturally how we know that God is sovereign because he bases the fact that we should trust God on the fact that He is trustworthy. Then he talks about how to react when people hurt us or anger us. God allows everything that happens to us, nothing is out of His control, so our reaction is to be in light of that.

He even points out we should never complain about the weather – as it is also from God.

Good stuff – a book with some real meat in it!

There are high speed train tracks in Spain now, so you can get from Barcelona to Madrid in about 2 and a half hours. That’s new since I last visited in 1989. In 2010 Catalan (the region where Barcelona is) banned all bull-fighting. Other regions have NOT followed suit.

Top attractions include La Alhambra in Granada – so glad to see that still tops the list. I went there the year I lived in Spain and it was indeed a great place to visit. Toledo is next on the list, which is kind of funny since it’s an entire city, not just one specific building or site. But it is worthy of a visit – such an interesting city. We went there too, back in college.

Third on the list is La Sagrada Familia in Barcelona. I never made it to Barcelona while in Spain, so I haven’t seen this church which has been in progress since 1882 and is still probably 30 years away from completion. The Guggenheim in Bilboa, another place I never visited. But it sounds fun when the museum itself is as interesting as the art in it.

Museo del Prado in Madrid – I did make it there. Even though I’m not a huge admirer of art, I do recognize some of the great pieces and it was fun seeing them in El Prado.

Merida’s Roman Ruins is another place I never got to, although I did see other Roman ruins near Sevilla. Cuenca’s Hanging Houses and San Lorenzo de El Escorial are more places I did not see. Something about attending classes kept me from traveling all over the country.

The last entry on the list of attractions is the Mezquita in Cordoba – I did make it there. Some interesting architecture, and a symbol of the Catholic-Muslim-Catholic history of the country.

Not in the list of attractions, but in the list of events to consider is the Feria in April in Sevilla. I was there for that, quite a contract to the Semana Santa (Holy Week) that comes before it. Horses, bulls, wonderful costumes. Lots of fun.

And way in the top left corner is Santiago de Campostela, a site traditionally approached by foot.

I, of course, find it fascinating, but not something I will probably ever have time to do.

I’ll be back to talk some more about Spain – then and now.